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Wednesday, December 2, 2009
In high school my teacher/coach/mentor/father figure once told me I needed to quit trying to be SuperWoman. I kept trying to do everything and be everything everyone needed and be perfect all the time. Blame it on my personality, my birth position, my astrological sign, my parents, whatever. It's in me. And I really loved the idea of being SuperWoman, being the one everyone (including myself) could count on, but it never worked. I'd try to do too many things. And I didn't quite get that being human meant sometimes, most times, well almost all the time - you're never perfect and SuperWoman was a crazy chick who fought crime with a ridiculous outfit. Seriously. Who fights crime in bright red and blue with just a tiny skirt, flashing her undies, and an upper chest that rivaled Barbie's?
I still tried. And I got burnt out. I grew up some since then, but sometimes when I flag or lose energy or spunk I think I'm not doing that much - this should be simple! So I relearn that some days a few things is too much. Somehow I still think I should be able to get up early, be domestic, have me time, go to work, come home, go to the gym to work out, spend some time blogging, bake some more Christmas cookies/candies, watch some TV with the boy, and do the dishes and still get to bed early. It doesn't really happen that way.
So I fight with the SuperWoman in my head. Telling her it's all right to chill out and be a little broken. It's important to take time to rest and get the mental/emotional/physical parts working again before trying to save the world, or make it a better place. I'm learning I have a lot of patience for just about everyone but myself. Sometimes getting tired at the thought of getting though the next long day. But as corny as it is..."this too shall pass"...does help. Nothing is permanent - everything is transitory. And this long day will pass and there will be a brighter (albeit a colder one in Seattle) the next day.
When I need reinforcements, I do turn to these saying that've been passed down through the years. Must have a grain of wisdom if it's been around long enough to be a proverb, right?
One may go a long way after one is tired. ~French Proverb
If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. ~Buddhist Saying
I do the very best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. ~Abraham Lincoln