Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Thought for the Day

I was raised on "Thought for the Day" ~ I love them and continue to do my own version each and every day.  Another way I get thoughts for the day is through my mother.  A very spiritual person, she sends out "Thought for the Day/Prayer Requests" emails.  Usually her 'thoughts' are spot on and very meaningful to me.  Today's is no exception - this one has been meaningful all of my life, Anais Nin's quote is one I adore, and I wanted to share. 

Lessons repeat themselves until we learn them.   
Sometimes we hear a wake-up call but prefer to pull the covers over our heads so we can slumber and dream a little longer.  We may ignore, resist, rationalize, or deny reality for a considerable time.  That’s okay – our schooling is entirely self-paced, but the lessons keep coming until our actions change.

If we don’t learn the easier lessons, they get harder.  
 Resistance to learning (or change) reaps more dramatic consequences over time – not to punish us but to get our attention.  As Ana├»s Nin wrote, “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

We learn and grow through challenges, 
and every adversity has hidden gifts.   
We’ve all experienced physical, mental, and emotional pain.  Yet each challenge has brought a greater measure of strength, wisdom, and perspective.  We may not welcome a challenge or embrace unexpected change, loss or disappointment, but looking back, and over time, we come to appreciate the gifts of adversity.

This was an excerpt from: The Four Purposes of Life: Finding Meaning and Direction in a Changing World by Dan Millman

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Feeling Better!

I'm feeling lots better, I might do an update as to what's happened later, but for now, that's all that matters.

There's been a lot of changes in my life 
and I went through some really difficult times in the past year, 
but the awesome thing is, each day is a new beginning.  
Here's to beginning again!

Several times this year, I felt like my life was falling apart, 
or I was falling apart, but it turns out, 
the things I didn't need anymore were falling away
and leaving awesome in their place.

It's through all the things
I've determined
 I DON'T want in my life anymore
that I'm left with a clear picture of what
I DO want in my life.

I've developed a strong belief that 
no matter what happens 
or what comes my way
I'll be okay.
I really will.

Because I'm awesome.
So no matter what's going on,
or how awful things may feel,

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Follow the symptoms
back to the source.
To understand
how to correct
the erred paths
that the body
and mind
have taken.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

What Feeling Better Feels Like

Watching sunrises
over mountains in the distance
from a penthouse window.
While the smell of coffee brewing
wafts over from the kitchen,
and music plays in my ears.

Thank you,
for all you've given me.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Health Update: Fibromyalgia

As a general update as to my health to my loved ones and friends:

Recently, I have been very ill. As most of you know, I have fibromyalgia. Since it is not a wide-known condition, if you are not familiar with it, please see the articles and information sources listed at the bottom of the post. This will help reduce questions you may have and allow you to have a better frame of reference for what I am going through.

My fibro has been flaring up increasingly frequency and intensity over the last few months to a point where it's been pretty crippling. I'm having difficulty keeping food down, the pain I feel is pervasive throughout my body, I have chronic fatigue and insomnia, among a myriad of other symptoms.

This has been very difficult for me ~ especially this informing those who love and care about me about what I've been going through. My Amandazonian SuperWoman fashion of tanking my way through it has led me to downplay talking about it as much as I should have. I know I'm ill, but I don't want my illness to define me
Rest assured I am taking multiple steps to get well.

I have lost over 40 lbs, I've changed my diet, exercise regularly - even if it's just a walk on bad days. I saw my doctor on Friday and we discussed treatment options. I've gotten some relief from the pain, inflammation, and insomnia through a combination of new medication and vitamins/herbs/stretching exercises. I also discovered I was having a negative reaction to one of my medications, and saw a specialist in regards to that. I know have a team of specialists who are assisting me with various courses of treatment during this time period.
I feel very confident that the various lifestyle and medicinal treatments will have a positive effect, and that I will recover from the severity of the flare up I'm struggling with right now. With the treatment options and adjustments I'm making I expect to have a better understanding of how treatment is progressing in 2-3 weeks with hopefully a marked improvement by 6 weeks.

Due to all this, I've been absent at work fairly frequently, which has led my employer to request I take time off to get better. At this point, I am unable to work. So I am in contact with them to discuss what will happen going forward.

In this same vein, I may have also not responded to texts and/or requests to go out, or seemed a bit off or odd. Please understand if this has happened, it reflects not on you or our relationship, but rather my health.  And if I am able to do some things some days, those are turning more into my good days recently.

I don't wish to alarm any of you - simply inform you about what is going on with me, and let you know I am very thankful for the support structure I have - the people I'm fortunate to know and be friends with. The small reminders that I am cared for and loved really do bring a smile to my face, and that is the best way people contribute to helping me feel better. 

Thank you all so much,


This is a good article helping those who don't have fibromyalgia understand the illness: http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/whatisfibromyalgia/a/understandfibro.htm

Fibromyalgia - Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia - MayoClinic - http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fibromyalgia/DS00079

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Random Happy

Hello random happy.
It's nice to see you here,
for the sun is shining,
and even underwater,
everyone is dancing.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Embrace your Inner Radical Communciation Artist

I see things like this float around on faceboook:

(1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.
(2) NOTHING: means SOMETHING & you need to be worried.
(3) GO AHEAD: this is a dare, not permission, DO NOT DO IT.
(4) WHATEVER: A womans way of saying SCREW YOU.
(5) THAT'S OK: She is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

And I want to post rants about it.  I know people think it's funny, but it's only funny because it's so freaking true.  Screw 'women' or 'men' they all have their speech patterns that say one thing and mean another.

It drives me nuts and makes me so frustrated.  I think all that is just evidence of how poor communicators people have become. If something is *not* okay, say it's *not* okay!!! Mixed signals are funny to everyone who doesn't have to receive them. How much easier would it be to say "I don't like xxxx" than to live your life unhappy and miserable saying things are "Fine" over and over? Seriously, communication is only communicating when you say what you mean, otherwise, it's just confusing. And life is far too confusing already to add to it.

So for those of you who say "Go Ahead" when you really mean "That would really upset me, I'd rather we did XXX together instead, as I miss time with you." (Or WHATEVER) Take a moment before you utter one of those phrases above.  Think about what you really mean.  AND THEN SAY IT.

Embrace your radical nature.