Tuesday, April 28, 2009
So the title of this post is !!!MINE!!! and that's because I've been saving since Januaryish for a road bike. I saved up roughly 500, and promptly spent it on Iri, my dual suspension mountain bike. I had some major doctor/medicine bills with my thyroid being all weird, which resulted in no savings, and now its almost May and Andrew's taking the road bike I'm riding back in the beginning of August. As much as I'm completely totally grateful for him loaning me the Kona, I WANT my own bike. So I decided to say screw it and go on this focused bonanza to get enough money to get my bike. Which I should have on the inside in 15 days and on the outside 30 days. I finally applied for the social security benefits from Rich's death which will come in 15-30 days. I sold my Chrome bag that I didn't use and SouthPark Seasons so I'm now up to $440. I'm selling his amp and his two left handed electric guitars. I can maybe sell the Windows Server 2008 Exam Training Materials he bought and never used and he Monty Python box set that I've never watched and possibly my old hybrid bike which will bring it up to MY VERY OWN Kona Jake. Soon. Very soon......I totally can't wait.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The increasingly grumpy Amanda morphed into a really content Amanda yesterday afternoon and a super bouncy happy go lucky humming joyfilled Amanda this morning. All this happy started when I picked up the rear wheel for my road bike yesterday after work. Who would have thought my unhappy state could be resolved between 1. getting my road bike back up and running and spending some time on the bike (not in pain) 2. spending some quality time with the guy I love.
It's amazing how different I am grumpy vs. happy. I have an appetite again, I had a beer last night (I don't like drinking when I'm grumpy), I'm not growling at passerby's in my head...now I'm humming bap-de-boop-doop all day. Everything looks brighter and more awesome.
And I'm in LOVE with my new rear wheel/tire. Andrew's fast road bike's rear hub had issues, so he snagged the one on the Kona and I got his Lemond's rear wheel/racing tire after it was fixed. Oh My! Delicious delectable beauteous happy happy joy joy feelings overwhelmed me when I put the new rear wheel on the bike and went for quick 6 mile ride yesterday. It's fast and quick and corners well - it's like floating on lighting - and has amazing traction and I SWEAR my avg. milage has gone up 1 if not 2 mph. I was booking along at 16 mph all yesterday and most of this morning. In fact, I passed people going UP Dexter Hill this morning. :) It was awesome.
I'm looking forward to this weekend too. A friend of mine I haven't seen in a while is coming over for dinner on Saturday night. Sunday I'm going for a long ride with Paul and Susan (maybe). It's supposed to be "mostly sunny" on Sunday with a high of 67 degrees. That's a heat wave! That's beautiful! That's definitely long ride weather :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I had an unrestfull night of sleep (more on that later) and woke up hating everything I put on and went through about 7 outfits before deciding I didn't have time to mess around and needed to rush to get to the bus in order to make it to work early.
I'm unusually sensitive emotionally, my thought process broken and I have a headache that's not gone away.
Oh, and evil weird dreams that plagued me through last night. I dreamt last night of traffic whizzing by me and being lost on my bike, trying to climb up hills that were impossible, to look back and see it didn't even qualify as a gentle slope. At the top of the cliff like hill that wasn't even a bump in the road the area turned into a dirty, sad, broken down area where a mother and son were dirt encrusted, hanging onto the edges of society. To make money they took old things and fixed them up, but the mother was kidnapped and held ransom at knife point because the thieves believed the family was wealthy. The thieves didn't believe the mother/son duo were poor because the items they had collected and fixed up looked valuable. It deescalated and resolved with the statement that "If you wait long enough, old crappy things eventually look valuable".
Then the mother and ungrateful "bad" son got into a horrible fight. The mother was screaming that her son was an ungrateful wretch and he attacked her with a knife and a power drill. Failing to cause her demise, she attacked him and they ended up in a tangled bloody mass. Between the mother fighting and beating the son he had the power drill bore through his open mouth into the back of his head for what felt like hours. Disgusted and despondent, he flung himself into the nearest suicide option by jumping into an empty well, but didn't quite succeed. The mother, horrified at what she had caused, leaped down after him but for some reason continued fighting him - and they ended up broken limbed, hole ridden, and bloody at the bottom of the well. During this entire scene, I had morphed into and out of the personas of both the mother and the son and got the lovely experience of ended up spending most of the night feeling like I was being either cruelly bound, having a knife at my throat, drilled into with a power tool, or broken at the bottom of a well. Not a particularly restfull night.
Work is also extremely slow lately, which leads me to work on more administrative, archiving, and standards creation items. Not the same as real project work. Often I'm left wondering how I'm going to fill up the rest of the afternoon. I'm doing all I can to end up on another project though. It's just slow going.
Toxicity brought up through
ragged raw bleeding screaming patches -
life isn't as it once was.
Pushing the pain
up from depths not yet imagined
my wounds weep,
a process that cannot be foregone,
a necessity for new life to come.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Andrew had originally planned that morning of coming over to pick up a bike part after I got home. When he heard I was going to the ER he refused to let me take the bus and insisted he drive me there, wait for me, and drive me back. There are times I feel truly blessed by the friends I have.
So we went to the ER and after the whole signing in, going through the "on a scale of 1 to 10 how much pain are you in" business, I was stuck in a room, waited around forever, and eventually saw a doctor who after a fair amount of poking and prodding, proclaimed my road rash not infected said I had just sprained my ribcage - which I was thrilled about.
Since the massive amounts of Advil I had been taking were doing little to dull the pain, they gave me a Vicodin. I've not taken a heavy duty pain killer before and let me just say its....... very effective and has a very interesting response in my body. I ended up chattering Andrew's ear off on the ride home mainly due to the fact my internal monologue was nonexistent. There were lots of statements like - "What a cute puppy!" and "I like cheese." :) It makes the pain a faint bass line underneath this wonderfully intricate, distracting melody. From feeling the effects of it wearing off this evening I can definitely say it makes this whole thing MUCH easier to deal with, and helps A LOT.
But back to the hospital - after being given the Vicodin, an attendant named Bob came in to clean out my road rash and apply a silver-thingy paste to it and wrap it up. By the time Bob was cleaning out my wound the Vicodin kicked in and I was aware that the cleaning procedures he did, squirting this saline solution in the wound and blotting/wiping off the excess stuff, was really kinda painful, but then I got all distracted by the really pretty clouds in the bright blue sky. I actually had a great conversation with him and he was a great attendant.
After spending a 7 month mark dinner together with Paul, I'm feeling so much better. Food, significantly less pain, and not dreading the workday pain totally makes me a happier person!
Andrew and I went to South Sea-Tac trails to have fun and get some training in before the race on Wednesday. We played on the trails for a bit, then I practiced lofting my front wheel, which is really difficult. My wrist started to hurt a little, so I thought, "Ooh! There's that awesome dirt jump field I could go play in."
I trundled off to the dirt jump field and took a look around. I want to make a point of saying that there were jumps 3-5 feet tall with 3-5 feet drop offs and I thought....hrm. Those look a little advanced. So I scoped out the areas and picked a little mound, 1/2 the size of some of the ones I've done, with no drop off after it and a nice swooping down afterwards. I got up some speed and hit the jump....maybe going 10-15 miles per hour....and the next thing I know I'm belly sliding 10-15 feet. Even at the point of impact, I'm laughing in my head as I see my bike flying over me and landing another 5 feet in front of me.
I have no idea what happened to cause my wipe out. The only thing I can think of is that I didn't hold on to my bike.
The end result is some road rash on my forearms, which is the worse abrasiveness. I have some minor scratches/bruises on my lower stomach and upper thighs and some developing bruises on my lower legs. The worst of it, though, is the buised torso/ribs. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to laugh. It hurts. Period. And when the pain reliever wears off, it's not good. That and I think I've got some minor whiplash from my neck snapping backward. Again, once the pain reliever wears off, it hurts to turn my neck or move. The mild throbbing turns into acute pain. So I guess the end result is a first hand knowledge that wiping out hurts. However, it could have been MUCH worse. Basically I'm a little scraped up and a sore/bruised in places. Nothing's broken, no concusion, I could have cracked some ribs, and my bike is perfectly fine.
In my infinite wisdom (ha!) I decided I still wanted to try racing the next day. Throughout the course of Wednesday at work my ribs became more and more sore and the road rash less and less of a concern. I met Andrew at his place and we went out to the field. I pre-rode the course and ended up realizing how much pain I was in. I decided I'd race, but bail if it got to be really bad....and now I'm wondering what "really bad" means to me.
Anyway, there were a bunch of people in the beginner class and we all took off. I purposefully positioned myself in the back of the pack because I knew I was not going to be fast. I followed the last rider entering the course, but there was mass confusion as the start of the course wasn't laid out. People were milling around, turning back, and then branching off in several different directions. I ended up going back to the start and then telling Andrew I was bailing. The bruised ribs equal continual nausea and I was feeling like dirty nasty poop on a stick that had been put through a blender and then run over.
I ended up taking lots of pictures, riding around some more (SLOWLY), going to the dirt jump field to try to figure out what the hell went wrong, and chatting up some other girls that were there - ended up learning some really valuable knowledge about climbing from one of them. End of the night resulted in the pain medication wearing off and me being in a lot of pain.
I'm not sure how my training is going to be for the next few days or if I'll be able to race next Wednesday. Running's out of the question, as it's too much impact on my ribs and so is weight lifting. Biking is okay, but I have to go really slow and even that results in increased nausea, so I'm not sure what I'll be doing. All I really want to do right now is lay down. Paul's going on a mini-vacataion to San Fransisco to see a friend and have lunch with his parents, so I'll have the weekend to myself. Originally that was going to result with a lot of time spent on the bike. Now I'm rethinking that and considering spending the time writing at coffee shops.
"Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever."
"If you're worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on."