Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Beauty in Slow Moments

Think Before you Act.
Follow Through on Your Plans.
..................................and now...


I'm typically am constantly on the go.  "You're a busy woman!" Is a common response to seeing only one of my four personal calendars I have and while I see lots of things and connect with lots of people and get life experience in large quantities in short amounts of time, I'm realizing lately how counter productive it actually is.  All that gogogogogogo is a source of stress for me.  It forces my decision making process sometimes ahead of it's germination, I overextend myself, and I get all combobulated and bombarded with stimuli to where I don't have the space and time to meditate and think. Sometimes its fun looking at my weekend that's jammed pack full of awesome events - but more often than not, I end up being too exhausted to finish all the things I want to do.

This past weekend was a beautiful example of how slowing down brings focus and joy into my life.  I started Saturday off in a bit of a funk, but soon came out of it with the prior "Rockstar" post gracing my screen and the excitement of preparing for my personal reclamation project. 

When I was a kid, I had girl friends, but no real best friends except for a few that were short lived and tumultuous in nature.  I lived in a small region where there weren't a lot of different types of people - and I was just as explorative as I am now.  I never quite fit in....when Sesame Street came on and the song went "Which one of these things don't belong?  Which one of these is not like the other?"  I thought about me.  I was different than the rest of them.  I had a rougher time than most kids because of the sexual orientation of some of my family, and I didn't adhere to the gender roles people tried to force on me. 

When I was younger, I refused to be called a young lady.  I was a tomboy, thankyouverymuch.  I could climb trees faster than anyone, beat up all the boys, and was convinced I could do anything boys could do ten times better! I was intelligent and mature for my age, quick on the draw and thirsted for adventure and adrenaline. This led to some problems that cause my parents some grief (what kid doesn't?) but I knew I was destined for an interesting life - even if it was greatness achieved in living a small life beautifully.  I could live and breathe the essence of poetry every day, wild a wild horse off into the sunset, or beatnik my way across the universe of literature.  I had IDEAS about where I wanted to go!  To me, there was more out there than combines and soybean fields, more than WalMart and cruising down the "Main Street" only to make turn arounds in Sonic or McDonalds parking lot.  More to life than settling down with the first boy who wasn't abhorrent, dropping out kids like the world is ending, and then settling down to a simple life at home while "daddy" works in the factory making $13 an hour.  I wanted the things that life had to offer. 

Most of the girls I grew up around didn't think like I did.  We didn't connect.  There was that compatibility factor missing.  I had one or two friends - real BFF type girl friends - but they only lasted about a year before I'd move, or our friendship would fall apart.

So Saturday night I created something I didn't get to experience in childhood - A Pajama Party/Girls Night.  It seemed a little silly asking  for it at first, but I wanted it and thought there was no reason why I shouldn't have a girls night. 

It was everything I'd hoped for and more.  A few girlfriends of mine who all know how to properly "Squee!" when excited came over Saturday night.  We gabbed and they all got to know each other, we nommed on sushi, tasty chips and had big bowls of delicious ice cream with brownies and/or fruit that was delicious! We changed into fun pajamas and sat in a circle on the bed, chatting and having a grand old time...and then - we had a PILLOW FIGHT!! !

Oh. My. God.  Seriously!!!  As cool as boys think pillow fights are, they have NO IDEA - and not for the silly reasons why boys think they're cool - but for reasons I can't describe.  IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!  Period.  End of pillow fight story.  The photographs in my memory - the joy in my heart - that can't be translated into typeset.  Not now, not ever. I'm not going to try.

After some subsequent giggling and scooting back into our girl circle, I got my nails done, and someone else got their hair done and then we settled in to watch a girlyish nestled in amongst the pillows, and that relaxed absent minded reclining on each other during the movie.  My couch was torn apart to transform my studio apartment floor into this MASSIVE bed which combined with the bed, which was about the same height, turned the entire room into a bed pillow comfy amazing AWESOMENESS.  Which was really fun the next morning camping out on a pillow laden floor eating the yummy oatmeal, eggs and bacon I made for breakfast.  The best part about all this? I have girl friends. 

Who are my friends
Who **rock**!!! 


All throughout the night and the next day, time had this lazy quality to it, there wasn't the rushrushrush of getting things done and moving on to the next thing.  It was simple time, quality time, with very little agenda except to enjoy each others time.  Instead of draining me - it rejuvenated me.  I felt recharged, full of life, and very very content and happy.
Sunday was just as beautiful in that slowed down way.  Elizabeth, a chosen family member of mine that's from House Decided, and I hung out for a while.  We then headed to House Decided for Sunday dinner singing Gun's 'n' Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" out loud and proud in the car on the way there.  Something I love very much about being around family - whether it's biological family or chosen family, is the feeling of togetherness.  We got there and chatted in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, making a good-for-you and taste-good-too food with the rest of the people who live at the house.  Hearing the jangling of pans and jokes waft back and forth over the steam rising off the stove, reminders for the pie being put in being called down the stairs, mundane cooperation of people who care and love each other, who are different in many ways, living their own lives together, supporting each other. 

Dinner was yummy.  A plethora of nifty food bringing happiness to the belly.  But my favorite slow moment of the evening was sitting on the floor of the kitchen after dinner with Elizabeth.  She had a headache and we were looking through my book of Home Remedies for it's suggestions.  One of them was a list of face exercises you could do to stretch out your facial muscles.  And so, sitting curled up in the corner of the kitchen floor looking over this book, we waggled our eyebrows at each other, swung our chins this way and that, giggling all the while and in the end "Improvise(d)!" and made faces at each other.   Raoul popped into the kitchen, reminding us he'd put a movie on that was very good.  So we made some more faces and sauntered into the living room to curl up on the floor and watch a movie together with others who came for dinner. 

There is so much joy in reducing the gogogogog and adhering with the slow.........slow................slow..................slow........................

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