Inward

Curling around myself,
my limbs fold back on themselves-
reducing the amount I touch the world
the amount the world touches me.
Shoulders upward, inward,
arms folding in like origami
resting in the hollow of my breasts,
a secure nest made by my ribcage.
Hands relaxing in,
holding the reverberations of my heartbeat
against my breastbone.
Head relaxing in the hollow of my shoulder,
negative space taken up with positive.
Eyes closed,
There is safety here.

04.07.11 Connections

Iridescent threads

wrapped and woven around each other

looped about,

impossible to trace back,

twisting in between and

through you -

          and her -

                and him -

                          and me -

                                        and we.

Surrounding us.

It's an intertwined tapestry

of ideas and beliefs...

glowing with the

changing morphing beauty

of each person's hopes and dreams.

Taking the wear and tear  from daily life

distributing it out,

each strand standing strong

because they stand together.

A way to soften the blows

that will always come.

Supporting itself

by the concurrent will and strength -

The wisdom 

inherent in each strand,

each being,

each beautiful unique piece.

A work of art in perpetual motion.

I have a dream!

."....And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream....."

I have a dream, that one day - I will have a room.
A room in a house that I already call my home - a room that's mine.
I have a dream that it will be judged not by the pink of its walls, or the sheen of its translucent patterns so decoratively stamped, or the plush of its carpet, but rather by the sum of its parts.  The essence of it's awesome.

For it will be awesome.  Oh, how its awesomeness will shimmer and shine.

I moved into a community house a few weeks ago, and the re-doing of the room has been all consuming.  The past beautiful Sunday morning I took a break in between stripping multiple layers of paint off of the baseboards and ripping out some more baseboards to sit back and think about all that I have left to do, and how far I've come.

The process has been frustrating, exhilarating, cathartic, exhausting, anxiety producing, fun, a bonding experience, and very educational.   Two and a half weeks, already, of sleeping on the couch upstairs and working just about every day on getting the room up to snuff.  I've accomplished with the help of Elizabeth, one of my housemates, a *lot* in that time frame.

Walls were primered and painted, as well as the ceiling, closet holes were patched, sanded, trim in the closet painted.  Baseboards were ripped out. Believe you me,  there's nothing more Amandazonianly satisfying than standing on a ladder working with a crowbar and hammer ripping wood off the walls.  Elizabeth and I took them out in the back yard and slathered stripper stuff all over them.  The stripper compound looks and smells like orange sherbert.  It's a little disturbing how good it smells since it's uber toxic, but it does a good job.  Elizabeth's been helping out tremendously during this whole process and did a great job of stamping the iridescent translucent glaze in red and violet undertones on my pretty pink walls.

So far, there' only a few things left to do....painting the window, stripping the old paint off the baseboards/sanding/repainting them, patching up a few holes that're left, some touch up paint, and installation of pretty curtains and a new more functional doorknob.  Well, that's what I have left to do.  Menfolk of the house are taking care of the rewiring of some electrical outlets and Internet cables and doing the carpet installation. It's so close to being done I can almost taste it!!  The end is near, and I'm very much looking forward to it. 

One day - soon - my dream will be a reality.